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Short, incomplete lists

I’ll update as I think of more.
 
Irony (Inspired by Discovery Channel’s “I shouldn’t be alive”):
  • Irony is being stranded in a dinghy in the ocean and dying from dehydration.  You can’t drink the saltwater or even your own urine because it’ll only dehydrate you faster than you would without it.  Furthermore, the salt is hard on your kidneys and, upon reaching your brain after entering the bloodstream, diminishes your capacity of seeing and thinking clearly (like alcohol I suppose).

Bad commercials:

 

  • DirecTV: “Good news, I got a promotion.”  “Better news, I got DirecTV.”
  • Domino’s XLP Pizza: “Domino’s guy!  Did you see that?  Hey, hand over that XLP bro.”

 

Careers I didn’t know existed (courtesy of Discovery Channel’s “How It’s Made”):

 

  • Chicken hatchling gender selector: On an assembly line where eggs hatch into chickens, workers separate them by hand based on their gender.  If their wings are equally sized, the chicken’s a female; if one wing is larger than the other, it’s a male.  (Maybe it’s vice versa, I’m not certain.)
  • Filo pastry flour stretcher: The flour has protein content so it doesn’t rip when it’s stretched.  Each ball of flour is stretched by hand into a large, thin rectangle, and then wrapped in cotton cloth to reduce moisture content.

 

 Jobs hated by the people:

 

  • Paparazzi photographers
  • Parking-meter maids
  • Debt collectors

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