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A prayer

God may have it (may God have it) that one day you’ll buy a mansion with money earned from the power of the pen. You’ll drive around in the greatest automobile ever owned by anyone in your family, paid for with the recognition earned from the power of the pen. Your mother and your father will embrace you as their favorite and most capable child; the scorn they had for your occupation will have vanished with every successive stroke of your pen. The hypocricy with which they welcome you into their lives once more will bring a smirk to your face while injecting a disheartening venom into your soul as you come to accept the fact that everyone – even those who birthed you – is subject to worldy forces. You’ll sit one day in a rare moment of solitude to realize once more that the pen that brought you fame and fortune was on many occasions your only friend.

God may have it (may God have it) that one day the pen will unleash its power onto paper under the command of your hand. The wisdom of ages will flow through you, belying your own lack of years to your astonished audience. Common and even uncommon barriers will get blown to bits by the strength of what you write. It’ll reach millions of eyes and ears in a record matter of time. If not the whole world then at least half the world will know your name and the essence of what got you recognized. You’ll drink from the cup of time and experience a bittersweet pain where you cherish every moment of your fame yet secretly long to return to those days when you yearned for what you now have in such abundance. You’ll look upon that freshly bygone time of struggle as you would to your newborn child: a miracle of nature, something you cherish above anything consciously or unconsciously. You’ll live a new sadness everyday in your mansion where everything feels stale compared to the richness of your former housing in a basement complex where a white mouse was sometimes your only companion other than the pen.

God may have it (may God have it) that you experience the pleasure and the pain: the pleasure of pleasure and the pleasure of pain. May you experience the torment and the ecstasy and every other polar opposite pair of emotions that only people such as you have the fortune of suffering with such intensity so frequently in this life.

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