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3/22/07

6:23 PM Song of the moment: (I haven’t heard this song in years and came across it by accident today.)

Here by my side an angel
Here by my side the devil
Never turn your back on me
Never turn your back on me again.
Here by my side it’s heaven

Here by my side you are destruction
Here by my side a new color to paint the world (ooh)
Never turn your back on it
Never turn your back on it again
Here by my side its heaven

Careful, be careful
Careful, be careful
This is where the world drops off
This is where the world drops off
Careful, be careful

And you breathe in
And you breathe out for it
Ain’t it so weird
How it makes you a weapon
And you give in
And you give out for it
Ain’t it so weird
How it makes you a weapon
Never turn your back on it
Never turn your back on it
Again

Careful, be careful

(fades away gradually)
Here by my side its heaven
Here by my side its heaven.
Here by my side

6:31 PM Monotony kills me.

The everyday, the mundane, repetitions, processes. My spirit’s dying with each task I perform today that I performed yesterday.

In the beginning there’s newness, excitment as well as discomfort of the unknown. The inertia settles in for some time, where you’re just hanging in because comfort’s been found and it’s cozy. Now that’s gone, and monotony reigns once again, awake from hibernation since the last venture.

6:37 PM My mind is capacious. Sometimes I wish it wasn’t so capable and active all the time. To relax is to be ignorant sometimes. Isn’t that why people drink, do drugs?

7:48 PM Follies and tendencies of the past, when they don’t light the path to the future, seem like an immense waste of energy and effort and emotion. So much blood I drank down that day, and for what? It taught me nothing to make today easier to bear. I was in this corner back then also, and still it’s as new and uninviting as it was that time and the time before last.

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