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On the afterlife

Quite independent of the fact that it’s my birthday tomorrow, I had a thought about the afterlife, and my coolness to the concept of it.  It brings such a freedom to my conscience to not care what’s in the afterlife, because it leaves me able to consider what’s here, what’s now.  It’s more than words in my heart and mind, the thought that you can’t take it with you.  You learn, you gain, you lose, and you leave it all behind.  Truth be told, I can’t picture it being any other way, because if there was somewhere to “take it,” there would need to be an end to that cycle, and so on.

And yet, having arrived upon this moment in 2008, I couldn’t help but think back in memory to the same day in 2007, 2006, 2005…back to the turn of the century, at which point memory fades into an incongruous jumble out of which some dates stick out while others are lost (for now at least).  I remember where I was on this day last year, what I was doing, and who I was with, and it’s anybody’s guess where I’ll be one year from now and what the parameters of that day will be (where, what, who).

One may think, as I used to not too many years ago, that to think in the terms I now do would render much of life’s efforts meaningless.  (What’s it all for?  Why am I struggling just to get by and leave it all behind?)  That’s only innocence and lack of perspective, through no fault of one’s own.  In fact, I find having the belief and outlook I do detracts in no way from my will and desire to make every effort possible while I’m here, while this journey’s carrying me around its infinite circle, where every night is but an hour and every death is but a night.

I will even go so far as to say that it adds to my desire to seek and perform action, knowing that I’m not doing it for some greater reward than for the here and now, because one day this particular life will all be over and everything seen and gathered will simply vanish.  It’s not a sad thought, not at all.  It’s poetry, beauty; it’s art.  It’s more divine than anything that claims to persist forever.  I am here, I am now.  That’s all.  There’s no need for anything more.

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