Every once in a while but not on any regular schedule, I like to go through my contact lists – telephone, instant messengers, e-mail – and delete any contacts I find that I’m no longer in touch with and don’t anticipate being in touch with in the future. I find several advantages to doing this, including but not limited to:
Out of sight out of mind
The fact that someone is deletable from your contact list means they’re no longer someone you want to or need to keep a relationship with. Or in other words, your relationship with that person has ended. Whether it ended badly or otherwise, it’s safe to say that you’re better off with one fewer reminder of the defunct relationship as you go about using your daily tools such as your phone and e-mail client. And even if you’re not better off, you’re no worse off.
Light and fast
It’s true that any device, whether the latest phone from Goople or a leatherbound diary that’s been in your family since the time of Genghis Khan, functions better and more efficiently the fewer items of data there are in it. Keep it light, keep it fast, keep it efficient.
Quality over quantity
Every time you perform this exercise, and everytime you just use your contact list, you’ll get a nice reminder that quality wins out over quantity, every time. In this day and age when people are getting high off “collecting” friends on Facebook, you can feel good inside knowing the few people you have in your contact list are actual contacts – that is, people you’re actually in contact with.
“Don’t be afraid of letting go”
There’s a sense of closure, maybe even catharsis, to be had in this exercise. You can feel like you’re peacefully closing one chapter so another may begin.
A friend and I got into this discussion recently. My assertion is this: Good things happen (relatively) linearly whereas bad things – at least the ones that get reported – tend to happen randomly and spontaneously. Furthermore, good things happen on small scales whereas bad things often happen on large scales.
I assert that life is not the blank sheet of a cardiogram where both good events and bad events are registered. Rather, the sheet comes, by default, striped with a straight ribbon representing the good things: trees growing, dolphins swimming, people breathing, life existing in general. On top of that stripe of goodness we get blips of bad things, from someone losing their job to earthquakes and genocides.
That’s why the bad things get reported – they affect large numbers of people in brief spans of time. When’s the last time something good happened that took place in a relatively short amount of time and affected hundreds or thousands of people? Many throughout the world would say it was Obama being elected president, and that was more than a year ago!
The sad truth is that all the good things that happen in life everyday are already expected, and hence taken for granted. If the morning news were to report the good news of everyday life, it would consist of all the mundane and benign happenings in people’s lives. And certainly there is beauty in those things, and every day something bad doesn’t happen to me I consider to be a great day, but people won’t respond to that news because it’s expected, and sadly it’s (in their perception) not consequential.
This is not to say that the media does not sensationalize bad news even more than it already is newsworthy, but we have capitalism’s greed to blame for that, not any one person or group’s malicious intentions.
I’ve been compiling a mental list lately of the most important traits I look for in a cafe, and here’s what I’ve come up with (roughly in order):
Lots of natural light
Simple enough. I don’t want to be in a dungeon if I’m going to be hanging out there for a couple of hours.
Friendly and easy-going staff
I am, not by any means, the ideal customer. I don’t order $6 bowls of soup every time I’m at a cafe, and most of the time I don’t order a $3-4 mocha or cappuccino. The staff at the ideal cafe will not discriminate against me because of this. No one blatantly discriminates, but I mean subtle discrimination, like being short or making me feel like I shouldn’t stick around too long because I didn’t spend enough. If they were smart they would realize that they’ll make money from me through repeat business.
Free Wi-fi without time limitations
This is an obvious one. It’s all the better if there isn’t a screen where you have to accept Terms and Conditions. Not that I mind, it’s just a minor nuisance.
Plenty of AC outlets
Power outlets are hot commodity in cafes. People take the first table available where their laptop’s AC adapter will reach the wall; others walk around and survey the place after coming in and before settling down, hoping to find a spot where they can plug in. The ideal cafe will have plenty of access to electric juice, even if it is through unsightly extension cords.
Spacious with comfortable seating
A good amount of tables with a corner of two with couches and coffee tables seems ideal. Space is limited, after all.
Accepts credit cards
I don’t always have cash on me, plus I like to charge whenever I can so I don’t have to carry change and also for the miniscule amount of cash back I get. However, I fully sympathize with small cafe owners who don’t want to pay the exorbitant credit card processing fees, especially for small transactions.
Plenty of parking
Another obvious one.
Pleasant music that’s not too loud
A lot of places play popular hits, which get really annoying after hearing over and over again. Something else would be nice for a change.
Attractive interior
Nice paintings or photographs on the walls, a fireplace perhaps. I’m picky about my cafes but mostly about the lighting, sound level, and staff, so this is something I can personally overlook as long as it’s not hideous.
