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On true love

I don’t know about this “true love” and “meant to be” business. I mean, thinking strictly from a logistical standpoint, how can it be that so many people somehow manage to come together with the one person they feel they’re meant to be with?

Say, for example, you grow up in Cleveland. The one you’re meant to be with could be in Guyana for all you know. Now it’s one thing if it’s predetermined from time immemorial that you’re meant to be together, and so fate and life conspire to unravel your life in such a way as to have you meet at some point in your early lives.

But, being more…pragmatic, picture yourself growing up in Cleveland (or any random city in the developed world). There’s a numerical statistic attached to every single possibility: you’ll live past one, past thirty; you’ll stay in Cleveland for college, you’ll go to another state, you’ll go to another country, etc. Suppose you end up going to Boston College. It’s a city of a few million, but hardly the whole world is concentrated there for you to take your choice of mate from. The world (from a numbers standpoint) lives in Tokyo, Bombay, Mexico City, and so on.

Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is, that in whichever city or state or town or even village you find yourself in during that window of age where you meet a significant other, there is a chocolate box assortment to choose from, however unchoicely the choice may seem. You’re brought together more by circumstance than all other factors combined, so how can you say you’re meant to be or destined or whatever else you like to imagine?

What if you’d gone to California for university instead? Not assuming that your choice of university (and all other choices preceding it and following it) is entirely predestined, the outcome would be unrecognizably different than where you are now, having been where you’ve been. Sure, you’d have someone, you’d have some vocation.

It’s as if we walk through life with an empty ice-tray, the compartments representing the various aspects of our life, and the circumstances we end up in decide what and who fills our tray, our life.

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